He kisses me goodbye and heads off in an opposite direction. For most of our weddings, everything is in opposites until the ceremony. Sometimes I'll turn around and see him standing there. He'll ask a question. Or, he's just checking in. I was so caught up in my busy independence that I didn't realize I needed checking in on. But now I like it. A random text message buzzes against my hip. "I love you". I inhale against my nerves and then turn back to catch a quick smile from the bride. *snap* That one is going to be good. It's time to put her veil on. And again, I'm diving head first into my art. Light from the window. Light from the lamp. Light from the ceiling. Lines and angles. The world through a camera is a magical place.
Another buzz against my hip. "The groom is headed to the ceremony location. See you soon!" I won't see him again until it's time for the ceremony to start. And to be honest, I'll be so caught up in this work that I won't even enjoy my first glimpse of him. I'll probably be rushed, stressed, my first words to him being some sort of hurried sentence about what we need to be doing next. He'll smile. Or sigh. And he'll switch lenses with me. Then he'll make sure I have an extra memory card. And battery. He'll tenderly squeeze my arm as he walks away. He's ever looking out for me. And I will forget to say "Thank you".
A hushed room. I lean out into the aisle from the front. He winks at me from the back corner of the aisle and my heart flutters. Our places are reversed from where a man and woman usually stand at this moment in time. Time stops as the bride comes into view. *click* Now that moment will be frozen forever. The groom gasps in his breath. *click* She's going to make fun of him for that expression later on, but she'll treasure that photo forever. A love poem is read. I haven't written him a love poem in months. I make a mental note to do that. And then forget.
Our favorite time of the day is upon us. Portraits with the bride and groom. For the first time in the day we are able to fully work as a team. Our movements are like a dance. I direct a shot, he directs a shot. We mindlessly move around each other to get the angles our imaginations are envisioning. The bride sneaks a kiss from the groom. *snap* Nate turns a second too late to get the shot and smiles at me as he sees that I got it. We are team. He can count on me and I on him. We both, instantly remember that we are not alone today. Or any day. I see him smile to himself.
The reception will fly by. He will ask me to dance. I'll say no. He'll continue asking me to dance until I give in, even if only for a sway or two. I'll worry that it won't look professional. He won't worry. I'm not sure if he ever worries. I probably do enough worrying for the both of us. But he knows how much I love to dance so he will make me do it, even against my will, for at least a second. He'll kiss the top of my head and push me away. Back to work. But never off of his mind.
He is my inspiration. My constant rock. My soulmate. My best friend. He is my comedic relief. My supporter. My driving force. He is exactly what I need every minute of the day without me ever having to ask. He will let me cry in frustration. He will pour me a glass of wine. He will listen to me talk, no babble, with plans and ideas and dreams, and he will never tell me that I can't do it. He will offer to do my errands on top of his full work day. And he will make me dinner when I haven't stopped working long enough to realize that it's dinnertime. I will forget to tell him how much he means to me. And that is never okay. Because he deserves to know every minute how wonderful I think he is and how lucky I feel to have him loving me. He deserves to know that I see all the work he does for our business, our life, and our relationship. He deserves to know that I know the sacrifices he makes for me, the ways that he goes out of his way for me, and that even when life is chaotic, we are grounded with each other. Nathan, I love you more than anything. I love you more than you can imagine. And even when I get too caught up in everyday business to tell you like you deserve, I still love you endlessly.
Image by: Heather Ahrens
